Dave the AntOnce upon a time in a land very far away, there was an island. And on that island, there was a forest. On the cluttered forest floor, under a rather large tree but next to a particularly small pond, there lived an ant. This ant's name was Dave.
Dave the Ant was a fairly mundane being. He ate sugar and did house work and, if he was feeling particularly inspired, he liked to read Shakespeare and paint landscapes. Dave the Ant was an unmarried, unemployed, and generally lonely insect whose life ambition was to pen a jukebox musical featuring Dido's greatest hits. However, Dave was fairly content with his simple life, with his small house and with his exceptionally boring name. Another important thing to note is that Dave the Ant was God.
One day, Dave stepped out to fetch some milk from the local market, unknowingly carrying out godly duties while doing so. Dave the Ant crossed the log bridge across the pond, which caused millions of suns to rise over millions of distant worlds. Dave chec
Mrs. O-Something It was on the floor of my father's office I awoke. My body sprawled between a couch and a coffee table, my head resting on only the floor, my limbs bent and stiff. The first thing I think is how peculiar it is that I'm here, because it's a Saturday. When I raise my hand to check the time, I discover how inflexible my muscles seem to have become. I pull my phone out of my pocket, only to find it dead. This seems peculiar to me, as it had a full charge only hours earlier.
I stand and find my feet to be without shoes and my neck to be as unyielding as my limbs. My eyes scan the room in which I have spent so much time doing work, for school, for money, for family. They fall upon a clock above the door which graciously tells me the time is late afternoon. Almost quitting time for my father, if he's working. Which, of course, he isn't.
My legs feel l